sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
