Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
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