ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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