I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
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