Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
wrigley field is MILF paradise
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
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