hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
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