You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
