And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I understand Curling. That high.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Randomize
