You're completely useless in the revolution.
Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Did you just see the Batmobile???
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Randomize
