Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
