Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
Fine. I'll sleep in my office
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
