Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
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