apparently the secret to your success is patron
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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