I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
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