Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
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