I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Randomize
