Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
you told grandpa to call you daddy
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
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