she kept yelling 'call me bella'
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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