we have officially lost it.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Randomize
