yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
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