Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
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