oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
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