it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
