im drinking this country out of the recession.
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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