either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
