I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
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Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
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