you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Randomize
