puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
