I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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