Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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