dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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