So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
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