and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Randomize
