Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Help. Why am I so naked?
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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