I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
you traded sex for a burrito?
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Randomize
