All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Randomize