Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
We left an ass print on the piano.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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