I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
