Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
