are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
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