Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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