There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
