My hand turned me down
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
I think my moral compass just broke
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
