i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
