we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
