i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Randomize
