my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
