It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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