Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Randomize
