we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Randomize
