I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
