I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
