when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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