apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
