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  • I'm unemployed and spending my moms money on booze. Unsuccessful monday

    Submitted by hooah33 on May 25, 10 at 8:32am
  • For those of you who find stantheman's post humorous, imagine waking up everyday to a breakfast of midget heads, knowing you've got a grueling day of churning out enough vanilla pudding to appease the whip-cracking semi-retarded transvestites left in charge of us... and then imagine that by some sick joke sent down from heaven, your arms are too short to masturbate with... so you're forced to hump your breakfast instead of eat it... *sigh* my life...

    Submitted by fuktard on May 25, 10 at 7:00am
  • Squeeze

    Submitted by leadbelly on May 25, 10 at 9:02am
  • Tyler2014 you are in my little brothers grade I bet you never have heard of margarita Monday just wait till your of age

    Submitted by ₩¥€ on May 24, 10 at 9:33pm
  • @8:03 \n\n Stan... you indeed... are THE. MAN. (:

    Submitted by whiteliar on May 24, 10 at 9:56pm
  • Haha that's exactly what I did yesterday too!!! Hahaha

    Submitted by narnar on May 24, 10 at 7:14pm
  • honestly... relax and have a sence of humor

    Submitted by gliohkj on May 25, 10 at 2:30am
  • I use vanilla pudding. Its called my jizz.

    Submitted by specialfriedrice on May 24, 10 at 11:01pm
  • seriously? who picks the texts they put on this site?!

    Submitted by smileen on May 24, 10 at 11:56pm
  • Repeat

    Submitted by Bored0ne on May 24, 10 at 9:36pm
  • Stantheman you made this text actually worthy to open even though the text sucks donkey balls

    Submitted by rubberchicken on May 24, 10 at 8:58pm
  • first

    Submitted by snowlitpup on May 24, 10 at 7:05pm
  • Nice stantheman, although I use vanilla pudding as currency to fund my gorilla army. They're tactics are lacking, but there armed to the teeth with ancient aztec weapons, which they're most skilled in using. I plan on raiding on vanilla puddig production facility and stealing the queen midget that's laying all the eggs.

    Submitted by Clockwork on May 24, 10 at 10:22pm
    • I think you'll find it's their tactics not they're

      Submitted by aauk on May 25, 10 at 9:13am
  • FAKE

    Submitted by tyler2014 on May 24, 10 at 7:08pm
  • You need to be drink to buy toilet paper? Definately fake, nobody I this unintelligent.\nHappy Victoria day Canadians!

    Submitted by RickTrolled on May 24, 10 at 7:12pm
  • Proud to be American.

    Submitted by Michguy on May 24, 10 at 7:32pm
  • how the fuck do texts like these get accepted?

    Submitted by ael234 on May 25, 10 at 12:25am
  • Ed Harken: A lot of you have been hearing the affiliates complaining about a lack of diversity on the news team. \nChamp Kind: What in the hell's diversity? \nRon Burgundy: Well, I could be wrong, but I believe diversity is an old, old wooden ship that was used during the Civil War era. \nEd Harken: Ron, I would be surprised if the affiliates were concerned about the lack of an old, old wooden ship, but nice try.

    Submitted by lemonjuice on May 24, 10 at 7:14pm
  • Fuck Canada you Jean wearing fuck

    Submitted by PlanetPiss on May 24, 10 at 9:07pm