Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
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