Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Randomize
