If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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