it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
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