Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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