So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
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