So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
