New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
I'm always down for nudity.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
