He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
i dont even know how to be here
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
