my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
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