So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Randomize
