i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
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